The Planet of Wrong
…Ok I am back now Lily….I have heard on the grapevine that you think I bought or have tickets for or on myself…do you honestly think I contrived all this because I wanted to be a superhero or something?
...Lily!!!...I was running for my life…
When the invaders of ourselves arrived here…there was virtually nothing left of their original selves…they could not move about like the natives of this planet due to the absence of plant and animal totems in their sphere of existence…the fourth dimension. I suppose they were the original zombies…at first they hunted in packs at night like wild dogs…then over time…they took on many different forms…too many to mention here. One faction went onto become technological experts. With permission from the head honcho’s…who did not know the full story…and it is only recently that I found out about it…the ‘visitors’ were given permission to abduct the natives for use in genetic experimentation…the purpose being to create a suitable ‘ka’ for themselves that could be multi-dimensional like the ones the natives had…but… for some reason the ‘ka’s’ that they created began to fold…or rather unfold.
It soon became apparent that their ka’s were unfolding because the spirit essence would not stay attached to the ka bodies…
Oh Lily…you should have been there and not in Bargaloo. You would not have been in stupefied state if you had…perhaps not? Who can tell?
The next phase of experimentation involved atomic tests at Maralinga and in the South Pacific and elsewhere, nuclear fission experiments, gene splicing, particle accelerator experiments, orgasms ect ect…I was not there for a lot of it so I can’t tell you exactly what happened…but I was there for some of the worst of it.
Now I don’t know how they did this, but they found a way to peel a person’s spirit essence off them which made it possible for them to then inhabit their ka bodies. I won’t tell you what they did next because it would give the game away… as it were… to the current influx of ‘invaders of ourselves’.
Before too long…well… a long time ago now…I sussed out their game plan and came up with a plan of my own. I discovered a way to reintegrate the parts of my selves that had ‘gone missing’ and thus was able to hold onto myself…even in the absence of my own ka body…which surprise, surprise…was also missing.
Repeated attacks on my personage necessitated the construction of a dome of light…at first it was only big enough for me…I then found a way to enlarge it to include my family (and later the world )…I could not help Pedro (at the time) or my mother and various other folk…including my father…whoever he is? They were beyond help…I am sorry to say that I gave up on them.
There were times when I felt like the only person in the world or that I had been asleep for a very long time...it was on one of those occasions I found myself alone with a blue tongue lizard…the blue tongues knew that I had a ‘thing’ for them. They knew that I just about burst into floods of tears whenever I saw one squashed on the road.
One time…I was visiting my mother…we were in her garden…when a beautiful blue tongue lizard came over the hill…or rather the raised garden bed that formed a border between my mother’s garden and the vacant area of land behind it. Immediately my mother’s dog…a West Highland Terrier by the name of Connie rushed out and began mauling it. Shaking it violently in her jaws…there was nothing we could do to save it…It happened so fast…I remember screaming in horror…then Connie dropped the lizard…it was badly mangled but still alive… I screamed and started crying and hyperventilating…I could not go to it…I could bear to see it’s suffering…my mother’s husband chopped it’s head off with a shovel to put it out of its misery…I was shaking and shaking.
Anyway…something in me died that day…something in me died the day I saw a man in a truck deliberately drive into two cockatoos flying across Kingsford Smith Drive…way too close to the ground…killing one of them…and the night…Jon Jon hit a kangaroo driving back from Jerangle…and the day a parrot flew into my car as I was driving down Bungle Lane.
I took the parrot home and buried it under my flowering apricot tree.
The story I tell today is different to the story I might have told yesterday…
Yesterday I did not know exactly what I was dealing with…it was only after the ‘white light orb’ episode of 1996…that I even made a connection between my ‘issues’ and those of the ‘aliens’…before that it was just ghosts… or hags that sit on your chest at night and suck the life out of you.
One night…several years ago…cannot remember what date exactly…I was still living in Bungle Lane. I had moved out of my husbands bed for good and basically did my best to avoid him…I had long since given up trying to converse with him in any meaningful way…I was sleeping in a room that my son Nico had slept in and he was sleeping in a room that my other son Danton had slept in and Danton was sleeping in a room that he had once shared with Nico…that would eventually become mine and then the three Indian boys and finally Danton’s again.
So…there I was just lying there…when all of a sudden…the room began to change…just like in my poem…Suzette, Suzette, Wherever you Are?
First the furniture faded out…then the walls…the ceiling…until I was just suspended in a ‘misty space’. I became dimly aware that I was lying in bed…but it could have been a ‘slab’…and that approximately twelve robed figures stood in a circle around me…I could see their faces…they were the lizard men…one of them was a white lizard and another I recognised from one of your photos of a spying hole location Lily…a gun wielding birdman no less.
You have to imagine my mindset at the time….I was sick of being intimidated and bullied and not just by own kind but this lot as well…not to mention the nocturnal visits by the bug eyed oriental lady and her insectoid companion or Victor…for that matter.
If I was to describe my mental state at the time it would be…very calm, kool and collected and pissed off…I said “I am not afraid of you”….the very site of the hooded birdman is enough to turn me into a wild cat…but not that night.
One of them, or was it all of them at once, said… “You’re not from around here are you”.
One time I saw Usurunan ….or was it the birdman or one of the lizards…perhaps an alternative self? …was in a movie about an Arab Sheik and his camel...i thought WOW…he’s really handsome compared to that other lot...i also discovered something interesting…it was the sting of an Asp that killed my brother…he did commit suicide, I am told…and… it was the poison in the sting that drove him to it.
When we were teenagers living in a Forrest in the City of Kanak…we made a suicide pact…
Lily…did you know that when you make a suicide pact with someone…even half-heartedly…it is a suicide pact nevertheless and a pact is a pact. What could we do…we were living in a nightmare…paradise for the reptilians and the retirees but not for us.
I found out that the things that happen to an atom that is split is somewhat similar to the things that happen when an egg is fertilised or a planet is…but…there is a right way and a wrong way…three guesses for which ways lead down one path or another…
I also found out that the shit hits the fan down one of these paths at 86 resolutions leaving only 14 resolutions for the children of tomorrow and that is not enough resolutions.
So Lily…do you understand…that I was running for my life…when I was about three years old…i was living in Africa…I remember seeing you…for the first and last time perhaps…I hope not…and I said to you…just do it...
I erased myself…
…and then I found myself.
And if I changed my mind…would it make any difference?
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